Dear Cancer, fuck you.
That should be all I need to say to you cancer, but there’s more…
You thought that you could creep into my body and life and that would be it, game over.
You thought you could hide and not be discovered and claim another victim.
You thought I wouldn’t share how atrocious and sickening a disease you are.
But you’re wrong.
Maybe some would lay down and accept your brutal indifference as you create malignancies that are discovered too late to be fought, but I caught you, you little fucker.
I felt you and we saw you.
We saw you trying to dig your dirty black claws into my throat. We made you stop.
As the rest of my body said “hell no” to your sick game, it took everything needed to destroy you, 6 rounds of chemo and 33 bouts of radiation. Yes, the body suffered and does still, but at least you are no more.
You thought you would stay and control my life, but the most you got was a fleeting glimpse at how I live, and it doesn’t include you.
Yes, you affected me, affected my loved ones, affected my body, but you do not control me.
I still live. I still create.
I still love.
You cancer, you miserable fuck, will never grasp what it means to live. You only know death and destruction. But once you are vanquished, there is still life and love.
My life shall go on and I will write, paint and create to express the good and bad, trauma and triumph and all that comes with living. Some of my creations will undoubtedly mention you, but don’t gloat or celebrate because it is to show this world and those that will listen how much of an evil, twisted disease you are. The more the world knows, the less power you shall have, until one day, in the not too distant future, you will be no more.
So cancer, we shall stay in touch not as penpals, but as a way for me to show you that your days are numbered. You will lose your power over others as you have with me.
Until then, cancer you sick fuck, mark your calendar….because your ultimate demise is just on the horizon.
Still here…
Jameel Haiat
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