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Catching Up

Hey All,

So it's been a while...for sure.

Here's the thing...back in October I was diagnosed with throat cancer.

The news came as a shock especially since I pride myself on living heathy, exercising and being mentally positive. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this world can prepare you for the words that your doctor utters when he says, "You have cancer."

Your mind spins, it twists and thinks incredibly horrible thoughts, thoughts of despair, of your fragile mortality and of deep dreadful sorrow. When I finally came to terms with it, with my treatment, which was 33 rounds of radiation and 6 bouts of chemotherapy, I realized I was in for a long haul. I realized this wasn't a death sentence.

One thing for sure, I am lucky to be graced with my amazing wife Hilcia, and others including my mother-in-law, right by my side through the painful days and nights of my treatment. No words I could ever write could possibly describe the amount of intolerable, mind numbing pain that comes with the cure for throat cancer.

I wish it on no one, ever.

Beyond the pain, the multitude of other issues that arise from bring radiated upon my neck, including my loss of swallow function and excessive saliva day and night are enough to make one insane if they don't have the proper support system.

Today marks a full seven weeks since my last radiation treatment.

Although I'd like to say I'm one hundred percent, I cannot.

I am still eating and drinking via a feeding tube.

I am starting to drink water now on my own, but it's painfully slow going. I am also just now attempting to eat soft solid foods.

I still have excessive saliva which hinders my ability to sleep lying down. Its actually been almost three months since I've been able to lie down flat and not choke on my own saliva.

I'm slowly gaining strength, but my body tires early in the day until I can no longer do anything but sit.

It's not a pretty picture I paint of where I've been and how it's going, but this is the reality of throat cancer and the treatment that follows.

It is a long, slow, tedious process to allow the body to heal, and it's one that I was not prepared for even with all the information I had at my disposal.

Anyways, here I am, still kicking, still creating, still trying my best to be me.

Hopefully soon, real soon, I'll be better, and I will have beat this dark illness.

Let us hope together shall we...



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